Fits of Wit

Bowl cuts were and still are the shiz.

I’d like to discuss bowl cuts and just how glorious they were, and still are. That magical, mushroom-esque style gets a bad rap and I’m prepared to defend it’s honor. There are many pros of having a bowl cut and if you ever rocked one, you were a fucking super star.

Maybe you chose this style because you were a straight up G, or maybe your mother gave you no option because why spend money on a haircut when she had perfectly good bowls and kitchen scissors at home? Either way, you were awesome. Some people just had bangs in the front. You had them THE WHOLE WAY AROUND YOUR HEAD.

Another bonus? Jonathan Fucking Taylor Thomas had a bowl cut and every girl loved him so naturally when they saw you they were reminded of him and in turn, thought you were totes cute. They probably doodled your name in their composition notebook when they played MASH.

This image was found on That's an actual site. You can't make this shit up.

This image was found on That’s an actual site. You can’t make this shit up.

You also resembled a 1up mushroom from the Super Mario Bros video game. This meant you were immortal. You were your own extra life. BOOM. Mind Blown.

The longer your bowl cut became, the sexier you looked. Girls love a guy who can toss their hair aside. With a little flip of the locks out of your face, panties drop to the floor. You had the added bonus of putting your tresses in a manly ponytail if the length became overwhelming. That is SO BAD ASS.

Still rocking the furry umbrella hairdo now? That means you’re a brave, cutting edge individual. There have been quite a few celebrities rocking the do’ these last couple years. Way to be edgy, my friend.

Rock In Rio Madrid - Day 2

Rihanna gets triple the cool points for having her bra cups match her hair. Sexy as pie.

So to my readers who had bowl cuts in the past or are sporting one now, wear it proud! You are unique and stunning. When your friends make fun of you toss your hair out of your eyes, remind them that the the Beatles had the same look, and tell them to suck it.

Too much sex in one photo.

Too much sex in one photo.





  1. Lacy Lee Dickel

    Yessssss! I was waiting for someone to tell me that ridiculous cut my mom gave me way back when was actually pretty awesome! Haha loved the article!

    1. FitsofWit

      Glad you liked it Lacy!
      PS… I’d love to see a picture of that mop.


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