Fits of Wit

I prefer my men not dressed as tampon wrappers

That special time of year has come. Spring has sprung. Flowers are in full bloom, my husband has been keeping me up all night… WITH HIS ALLERGIES, the sun is shining, and my nose is in a constant state of peeling even though I apply SPF 30 twice a day. It’s a joyous time of year especially after the winter that cunt Mother Nature threw upon us.

But I’m not here to talk about the sunflowers and awkward family cookouts. Nope. I’m here to discuss a serious epidemic I’ve recently noticed that has plagued my town, and most likely yours as well. People start to dress different when the weather warms up. I myself have been rocking sundresses like nobody’s business. White men in particular start wearing flip-flops with jeans and think it’s okay. Normal behavior for spring, right? But there’s one thing I cannot stand and that is MEN WEARING PINK SHIRTS!

I don’t know why it bothers me so much. I consider myself a pretty laid-back, liberal chick. I’m pro-choice, I don’t think it would be the end of the world if marijuana was legalized, and I would willingly pleasure Barack Obama until the cows come home. There’s just something about a professional man wearing a button-up baby pink shirt or hot pink polo that rubs me the wrong way.

Today I went to the mall on my lunch break and observed the strangers walking into the food court. I saw at least ten men rocking a shade of pink. I don’t know what it is exactly. Maybe I get so creeped out because I’ve never been into more feminine looking men. Men with long hair, blonde, blue eyes, long eyelashes… never did a thing for me. But those guys with dark features… the ones with mysterious dark eyes, brown or black hair… the ones who you want to be thrown over their shoulders and whisked away to the naughty land of Sexville… ummm, I think I’ve gotten off track.

Point is no matter how manly looking, I can’t deal with a pink shirt. Everyone has their own ideas about what’s hot and what’s not. I’ve been dying my hair red for years. Some men love redheads, some men think we’re the devil… they’re both kind of right. It’s all about personal preference.

Even my lover Leonardo DiCaprio cannot pull off pink.

I call this shade lavendouche.

I call this shade lavendouche.

But you know what he can pull off? My panties. KIDDING! Not really… call me.

Look at him now that he’s in a nice masculine shade…

Those eyes... my thighs...

Those eyes… my thighs…

Are you a man who rocks pink on the regular or a female who loves a man in a salmon shade? Tell me why you love it. Does it enhance your skin tone? Make you feel pretty? I wanna know.

7 Comments

  1. sarahleelopez4377

    LOLOL I almost pee’d a little while reading this and yes there has been a bit of an acceptance wave of the metro-sexual look as of late. The super skinny jeans as well go about as nicely as the pink or the loafers without socks……Someone who looks like they’d dip in to your closet to borrow a shirt??? Uh kind of dries up the lady parts ya know 🙂

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      “Dries up the lady parts” LOL!

      Reply
  2. visitingmissouri

    I wear pink, but I also haven’t touched a decent razor blade in the last six years. That always helps. The shades are tricky, though, and I like combining it with a blue that rock my eyes.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      At least you rock it with a bit o’ manly stubble.
      There are SO many shades. I can’t tell if I dislike the baby pink or hot pink more.

      Reply
  3. Serena

    Reblogged this on Housing In Purgatory- A Blog.

    Reply
  4. Pingback: Step Aside, Robins. This is the REAL Sign of Spring. | Fits of Wit

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