Fits of Wit

Three Unconventional Ways I Keep My Relationship Fresh

I’ve been with my hunk of a husband for 8 1/2 years. I’m often asked how we keep it fun and lively. How do we always seem to be happier than a turtle on a skateboard? I could respond with the bland, basic answer of being a good listener, going on dates, and sharing life goals. And if you look up how to keep a marriage fresh those are usually the kinds of answers you’ll find.  That stuff works but I like a more creative approach.

My husband and I share the ideal to never be in a rut. That doesn’t mean the monotony of daily routine doesn’t sometimes creep in and put a damper on romance and whimsy. It happens. But there’s a few things we’ve discovered that work for us. They’re a bit different and I thought I’d share for any other couples who need new insight. Below I’m sharing three unconventional ways I keep my relationship fresh and fun.


1. Daily Goof-off Time

I’m lucky enough to work the same schedule as my spouse. We both arrive home around 5pm. Whether our work days have been busy, slow, or stressful we don’t let it affect our evening with one another. A couple of years ago we came up with what we call “daily goof-off time.” Daily goof-off time is the period right after we get home where we act like silly juveniles. We chase each other around the house, play tag, dance, fake-karate fight, or play hide-and-seek. It’s a time where we put our workplace baggage on the shelf for the evening and lighten the mood. I’m a firm believer that laughter and playing is a vital part of any relationship. Too many people assume that once they’re an adult the fun is over and that it’s only acceptable in society to be serious. False. You can be responsible without having to grow up completely-  make a little time for it each day.

2. After-work Sex

If you’re my brother or one of my grandparents reading this, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SKIP TO #3 NOW! When relationships begin sex happens ALL THE TIME. I know, I remember all too well that steamy night 8 1/2 years ago when the mister and I had sloppy, tequila-fueled, college sex for the first time. Several months after that the infatuation was still hot but dimmed month by month, year by year. After moving in together we assumed the frequency would increase but with both of us working, training for half-marathons, cleaning the house, etc. we’d be too tired and fall asleep. Days without sex turned into weeks without sex and we decided we needed a change. Now we are still just as busy as before but do the deed before anything else. We make time for it when we still have the ummm, energy. Our relationship was strengthened by doing so and our bond even more.

3. Unplugging from Technology

I’ll be the first to admit that I am addicted to my phone. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter… like herpes, they’re the gift that keeps on giving. I’ll find myself with my nose buried in my Facebook newsfeed while my husband is talking. “Are you listening to me?” he’ll ask. Those are the moments I’m ashamed. Life is happening NOW. Our phones will be there later during downtime. I’ve made it a point to either shut down my phone or leave it at the home when we go out on dates. I don’t do it every time but those times I do is a game changer. It’s absolutely amazing how much of a difference it makes when you’re not being distracted by technology. Each moment is truly lived, observed, and experienced to the fullest when you’re not taking a photo of every second of it or answering emails while the sunset passes you by. Try it at least once.



Photo Credit: Brittany Thomas Photography





  1. bensbitterblog

    Daily goof off time sounds like what I do all the time at work(okay not the running part). But definitely need to do more of that at home.

    1. FitsofWit

      The world would be a better place if everyone had daily goof-off time.

  2. jennifer Windram

    I realized I was in trouble with technology when I couldn’t watch TV without being on my phone at the same time. Great post!

    1. FitsofWit

      Thank you. It’s crazy how addicting smart phones are. Like, I go thru withdrawals.

  3. Mark Petruska

    Question: does fake karate fighting ever lead to after-work sex? Or does the idea of a little Bruce Lee-style foreplay reside only in my weird brain?

    1. FitsofWit

      I actually almost wrote that sometimes one can lead to the other. Who wouldn’t want to reinact Return the Dragon in the bedroom?

  4. Mark Petruska

    Oh, and grandparents, please skip the comments, too!

  5. Mike G.

    Well as long as you keep poppin the prostitute pills you should be able to continue the after work shenanigans going well into both of your midlife crises.
    As a father of 3 pretty much grown and sort of moved out kids I envy your youth and sex drive. However, may I also add that in just 29 and a half days we move into Nudevember and you can add walking around the house in your all together the moment you shut the door at 5 pm. I know I am looking forward to it up here in NJ.

    1. FitsofWit

      You leave the best comments. Like, you should receive a comment award. Just make sure you thank God in your acceptance speech and forget to thank all those people who made this moment possible.
      I do realize that one day when we have munchkins the running around after work will turn into changing diapers and slitting our own wrists. Enjoying it while we can.


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