Fits of Wit

How I Spiced Up My Pasty Ass Kitchen Wall

Lately I’ve noticed just how white my walls are. Like, too much white.

benaffleck

Yep, my walls were Ben Affleck white. Since I despise Ben Affleck I decided I needed a change. I mean, did you SEE Daredevil? I couldn’t be reminded of that shit every time I entered my kitchen and stared at the pasty perimeter.

My extremely white kitchen.

My extremely white kitchen.

Okay, so it’s more of an off-white or cream but you get what I’m saying. I’m into bright, light colors so rather than paint the entire wall I thought I’d try a stencil. That way the wall would still be light but there would now be a splash of color to pull it all together.

I found this tutorial at http://whiletheysnooze.blogspot.com/2012/07/diy-moroccan-style-wall-stencil.html. I used the same stencil but made mine a bit smaller since my kitchen is so tiny.

Spices up any too-caucasian room.

I printed out the shape, cut, and traced onto cardboard to use as my stencil. I then traced it onto my wall with a pencil 5,091,453,001,988,562,345 times, give or take a comma or five. YES, I used a level so it would be perfectly symmetrical because I’m picky like that. I’d alternate between tracing about 20 shapes then painting the lines. Then tracing more shapes with pencil, then painting the lines. It was nice to alternate the monotony a bit so I didn’t shoot myself in the head with a nail gun.

wpid-img_20150117_152306.jpg wpid-img_20150118_135912.jpg

I used a small artist’s brush and Anita’s Acrylic Paint which I purchased from Hobby Lobby for 77 cents. I used the color seafoam.

Best pastel.

Best pastel.

The project took me a few days. When I’d get impatient I’d take a break or come back the next day. I ended up using about 3/4 of the paint which is good because if it ever needs a touch up I’ll have it on hand.

Below is the end result…

Ta-daa!!!

Ta-daa!!!

My kitchen is now less Ben Affleck and more Kate Middleton. AKA I stepped up the class game tenfold. The room is now more ME. It’s amazing what a little stenciling can do. When I look at my updated kitchen I squeal and do a happy princess dance.

giphy

 

* all gifs found at giphy.com

 

 

42 Comments

  1. Matt

    Ha. Excellent job.

    Because I like creativity (and willpower) I would have never thought of that. Stenciling IS an excellent solution to Ben Affleck walls.

    Reply
    1. Matt

      Good God. Because I LACK creativity and willpower. And brain cells. Fucking shit, man.

      Reply
      1. FitsofWit

        Ben Affleck walls are a common affliction across the world. He must be stopped.

        Reply
  2. bensbitterblog

    I can’t believe how much that dude is going to ruin Batman. He should have been Batbanned.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Can he really ruin it more than Clooney though?
      Batbanned. You’re punny.

      Reply
      1. bensbitterblog

        Clooney came at the wrong place at the wrong time. Affleck is making me want to not watch a movie with Superman in it and that makes me bitter.

        Reply
  3. bensbitterblog

    Also, you should be commended for having almost the same pattern on your blog as your kitchen, or at least close to the same color. I would hang myself from a shower rod before I completed even two of those patterns. You have the patience of Ghandi.

    Reply
  4. FitsofWit

    Patience is a virtue. That’s what they say. Old jewish grandmothers, that is.

    Reply
  5. Jess R.

    Ummmm, this is awesome. Can you come to California and decorate my place for me?

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      How about you ship your home from California to Maryland. I hear Fed Ex is reasonable with insane requests.

      Reply
  6. naptimethoughts

    Now that is a spicy kitchen.

    Reply
  7. FitsofWit

    Like a grandma hooker.

    Reply
    1. naptimethoughts

      Sellin’ her gingersnaps.

      Reply
  8. Queen Sylvia

    Oh dear… I stenciled butterflies on the ceiling of my old rental but I taped the patterns with scotch tape to the ceiling and painted over them with a rolling paint brush, it took me two hours and I was irritated like hell. I’d never have the solid nerve system to do what you did! Kudos! (I’d also never have your precision about details. I like things scattered.) Pure class, m’lady!

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Thank you! I was actually an art major in college (focus on painting) so I enjoyed it. Helps me unwind and relax.
      I had looked at stencils but couldn’t find any I liked. Plus doing it this way is FREE.
      Planning on doing the living room and bedroom walls next.

      Reply
      1. Queen Sylvia

        Well my stencils were free as well as I cut them myself with my bare hands, and scissors, from a piece of paper, if you dare imagine it. 😀 I hate buying things that I can recreate by myself – I’m not a cheapskate, I’m just frugal and anti-consumerist. Plus DIY makes it THAT much more special, creates a home out of a plain house. Looking forward to your work in the other rooms!

        Reply
        1. FitsofWit

          Oh I agree with it being more special!

          Reply
  9. Alanna

    THAT’S BEAUTIFUL!!! 😀 Also, congrats on your patience because that took a serious amount. I would have gone insane after like five.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Rum and coke helped.

      Reply
      1. Alanna

        Haha, indeed. Alcohol is always the answer

        Reply
  10. annieemmy

    SHUT UP. You did that by hand? And you didn’t shoot yourself in the foot out of sheer boredom/frustration/monotony/kill-me-now-ness? Wow. That’s kind of amazing. I’d be rockin’ the dorky princess dance too if I were you.

    Reply
  11. Jan Moyer

    Love it and admire your patience. A lot.

    Reply
  12. Vanessa-Jane Chapman

    It looks amazing! How awful would it have been if you’d done all that and then hated it at the end! I wouldn’t have the patience, but I can imagine that if you do, it could be quite therapeutic in its own way. Really no reason why you couldn’t put a little picture of Ben Affleck inside each of the shapes.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Ummmm I’ll pass on the tiny, multiple Afflecks. Maybe on one of my enemy’s walls, though. 🙂

      Reply
  13. susielindau

    That was a pretty intense project! I can’t believe you got that kind of detail from a cardboard stencil. Mine have always been plastic. The effect is BRILLIANT!
    Thanks for bringing it to the party! Have fun clicking on links and meeting the guests!

    Reply
  14. J.B. Whitmore

    Wow. It looks like a room in an exotic palace, worthy of a princess squeal. Inspiring. Cheers (visiting from Susie’s)

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Exotic palace you say? I like you.

      Reply
  15. The Regular Guy NYC

    LOL! Benn Assfleck as Batfleck would be so much better if Matt Damon played Robin the Boy Wonder.

    Also, Kate Middleton is a MILF! Yes, I said it!

    Reply
  16. thesassybitch

    cute! and literally we have the same wall design now. I painted mine a few years ago but you can see it kind of in one of my work out pictures. I love the color though!

    Reply
  17. GratuitousRex

    Nice work. Really well done. And great blog name

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Thx

      Reply
  18. GratuitousRex

    Also, is that what we’re supposed to be doing, saying where we get the gifs?

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      I dunno. Sometimes I forget to do it. I just like to source so jackasses don’t roll along and get all uppity about where i got my schtuff.

      Reply
      1. GratuitousRex

        Uppity jackasses. Ugh

        Reply
  19. thegentlemanatlarge

    Yit!
    Found my way here from Susie’s thing, enjoyed it and stuck around!
    Nicely done,

    Reply
  20. nchristopherson

    That is such a cute idea! Here from Suzie’s party, and I didn’t expect such an interesting DIY idea! <3 I really like that!

    Reply
  21. lisermarie2013

    Wow I am amazed by the transformation. Great job! I’m jealous.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Thanks! It’s gotten me addicted to doing more. Bedroom is now DONE. Living room next. I’m basically living in a doodle.

      Reply
  22. Kevin

    Not bad at all…but I heard Ben Affleck has the same pattern in his home. It’s nice that you did that to remind you of how much you hate him.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Good one.
      But where on earth would you hear that?
      Was Ben Affleck recently on HGTV? 😉

      Reply
  23. Michela

    Looks beautiful! Definitely worth all of your hard work. I’m starting to get get into repainting free furniture with chalk paint. So far so good.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Awesome! I recently painted the legs of our dining room table with chalk paint. Easiest makeover ever. Careful… it gets addicting.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Follow

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox:

%d bloggers like this: