Fits of Wit

The DIY Bug

Recently I’ve caught the DIY bug. Not sure exactly how I caught it. I hear it can be sexually transmitted through semen. So maybe that’s how I contracted it. Oh, or Pinterest. Yeah, that’s more probable.

I’ve always been a crafty / home decor / creative type of gal. After spending so much time in my home from my WEEK LONG SICKNESS I decided my living quarters needed a change. I like to think I keep my home pretty adorable decor wise but the all white walls and cheap carpet started getting to me. I would normally jazz up my space with vintagey flair to add a little character but it just needed something.

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And so it began. I stalked Pinterest and home makeover blogs. I drooled over mis-matched patterns and geometric shapes. I came home and declared to my husband “Oh my god, I’m going to repaint our kitchen table and chairs, stencil the walls, buy new rugs, and new curtains! Oh, And we’ll need a staple gun for the reupholstering. Do you have a power sander? We’ll need one of those, too.” Are you excited? ARE YOU EXCITED?!!!”

He dare not say no to my ideas. We have a Man Cave in the basement for all of his nerd decor and movie posters so there’s a mutual unspoken agreement that the rest of the house is my domain. Why would I let him decorate anyway? His tastes are rather, ummmm, different than mine.

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So he’s on board with all of my endeavors but I think a little scared. I’m a bit, okay REALLY clumsy. I’ve also vowed to change all of the lightbulbs in the house to Daylight bulbs for that extra bright feel. What could go wrong there?

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I’ve researched the rules of curtain size, rug size, how to make rooms appear larger, how to make Leonardo DiCaprio want to bang me… oops that was a different search. ANYWAYS what I’m saying is I’m ready to learn. I’m ready to give our little townhouse more personality. I want guests to walk into our living room and instantly fuck the couch. THAT’S how amazeballs my vision is.

I also know I’ll have to learn from my mistakes. I may buy new things and then realize I don’t like them. Stuff may get broken out of frustruation. I may trip over a cord and land on a pile of nails. I may get addicted to huffing spraypaint and hallucinate that I’m on The Price is Right with my pet hamster playing the role of Drew Carey. I’m willing to take that risk.

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So be warned. I MAY be posting tutorial-type blogs on here but not to worry, they’ll be sprinkled with humor kind of like my pumpkin mutilation tutorial from back in October. I’ll post my triumphs, I’ll post my fails, and I’ll continue to of course give you random witty stuff.

Wish me luck on all of my ideas. Pray that I don’t lose a finger or fall off a ladder. And to anyone who doesn’t like my style please refer Walter White below.

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23 Comments

  1. Mike G.

    So, welcome back to blogdom/bloggines/blogeteria. One question regarding the etiquette required of male guests to your Maryland domicile: should we bring our own condoms or will you provide? And one follow-up: is oral sex with then ottoman frowned upon?

    Thank you. And best of luck on your own personal HGTV-athon.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      I was going to write “I want people to fuck the couch as long as they bring condoms” but I didn’t. Oral sex is probably not ok with an ottoman. Unless you’re picking up a hooker and her name happens to be Ottoman.

      Reply
      1. Mike G.

        Or if she is of Turkiah descent prior to WWI and the fall of the Ottoman Empire.

        Reply
  2. Queen Sylvia

    Story of my life, except that I come home yelling “Babe, we gonna redecorate the kitchen, and refresh the bedroom, and renew the bathroom!!!”, and he be like, “Okay but no touching the bed.” In case I want to lie and even sleep on the dusty bed after all the construction and reconstruction. Oh, and I still haven’t taped the wardrobe with the deco tape I want it to be, and I’ve said I’d do it at least thirty times. For the past half a year. Guess what, it’s still waiting.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Do the wardrobe this weekend! Once you start you’re obligated to finish.

      Reply
      1. Queen Sylvia

        I wish I could fight with weekend lazy. It has taken over meeee, aaaaah!

        Reply
  3. annieemmy

    YESSSSS…. Sounds awesome. Can’t wait for the updates.

    Reply
  4. FitsofWit

    Thanks.

    Reply
  5. bensbitterblog

    Maybe they should combine Pinterest and Instagram, call it Pintstagram and make it where you can post pictures of your DIY’s. Or maybe that is pinterest already.

    Reply
    1. hbusse

      Yeah, I think that’s pretty much Pinterest already. Just no one pins MY pictures but me and my mom :’/

      Reply
  6. Kate @ Did That Just Happen?

    I have a project dressing in my garage waiting to be dealt with – but it’s only been there a few months, and it’s freaking freezing outside! But, I have sold one of the two pieces that said project dresser is replacing — so I think I’m ahead of the game! 🙂 Good luck!

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      I have a few furniture pieces I’d love to sand and paint but haven’t yet because of the same reason. Freeeeeeeeezing weather! Here’s hoping we both accomplish something by 2016 😛

      Reply
  7. Single Strides

    Have you seen the monthly subscription box for this?? I saw it on Facebook the other day: http://www.darbysmart.com/projects/mystery-diy-kit

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Ha! I saw that too! I was thinking about it 🙂

      Reply
  8. Alanna

    Godspeed, dear Jamie! Things can get dangerous and extremely real, and sometimes you can get lost in Home Depot. (I always do in the lumber section.) But can’t wait to read your tutorials and see what you do! You seem to have a pretty awesome style and all that. Also, you probably already know this, but the only spray paint worth buying is Rustoleum because everything else is stupid and chips and is the wrong color.

    Reply
  9. FitsofWit

    You know, I had a few spray paints on my Amazon wish list. They were like, $10 – $12 each. Then I went to Walmart and the exact same spray paints were there for $3.77! SAY WHAAAAT?! I hear Rustoleum and Krylon are the best. I stocked up but won’t be using them until the weather warms up. What were you doing in the lumber section?

    Reply
  10. Mark Petruska

    I learned all about “different tastes” when my suggestion to hang a groovy dogs-playing-poker tapestry in the living room was met with disdain by Tara. She acted like it wasn’t the coolest thing in the world. Women!!

    Reply
  11. Vanessa-Jane Chapman

    I was just thinking the other day that I hadn’t seen a post from you in a while! Good luck with your endeavours, I look forward to seeing the results. I occasionally get the DIY bug, but I’m really not very good at it – if you want a wall painted, I’m your gal, anything more than that, not so much. I’ve also learned that I must never use power tools again.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Power tools scare the sh*t out of me. When my husband uses a drill I have to leave the room because I get this erratic image of him falling and accidently drilling a hole in a body part. I know, so irrational. I did NOT do good in wood class in highschool.

      Reply
  12. ditchthebun

    Hahahaha I can’t wait to see the stories and inventions that come out of this. Have fun!

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Why Thank you. It’s quite addicting once you get started. I want to paint ALL THE THINGS.

      Reply
      1. ditchthebun

        So true, it does get very addictive 🙂

        Reply
  13. im0flawless0not0really

    *Dumb Ways to Die reference
    -ermahgerd
    *Breaking Bad Reference
    -ERMAHGERG

    Reply

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