Fits of Wit

Valentine’s Day Tips from a Laid-Back Chick

Valentine’s Day is this Saturday and I admit I’m not the type of girl Hallmark and florists cater to.

When it comes to flowers I prefer buying my own year round to decorate the kitchen table. I despise lilies and cringe at generic red roses. I enjoy a medley of  chocolates packaged in pretty red hearts ONLY if they are Hershey’s Pot of Gold Nut Assortment. So what is my husband to do when he has to buy something for a picky wench such as myself? It’s actually quite easy.

Last year he gifted me the classy half dozen pictured below.

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Now I can’t speak for all women but I think I speak for a select few laid back chicks when I say you can’t go wrong with a card and girly booze. Tie a big bow around a bottle of wine and your Valentine’s Day will be oh so fine.

One of my food weaknesses is doughnuts. So it will come to no surprise that this Saturday I will be heading to Dunkin Donuts to buy a few of these bad boys. Tear a doughnut heart in half and give one side to your sweetie. Or you know, do what I do and NEVER SHARE DOUGHNUTS EVER BECAUSE THEY’RE LESS THAN A DOLLAR A PIECE, YOU FUCKING CHEAP SKATE.

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And lastly, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, fellas. What does your girl want even MORE than sweets, booze, flowers, jewelry, etc? She wants to brag to the world that she is not alone on Valentine’s Day. Take a selfie with her, let her doodle hearts all over it, and share on social media. Odds are your boo wants to share with her friends that she’s with an actual human and not digging in a dumpster for discarded cucumbers that she will later name Prince Eric.

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Are you also a gal who enjoys gifts other than flowers and candy?  Are you planning on wearing Fifty Shades of Grey lingerie? Are you offended that I know all about your plans with Prince Eric? Do you loathe Valentine’s Day completely and want to tell me to piss off? Please share in the comments below.

38 Comments

  1. eliseo22

    LOL. Who is this chick?! Cause I dig the insight!

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Thank you!

      Reply
      1. eliseo22

        No doubt…it kind of reminded me of this article:

        https://tswmall.com/now/trending/sht-girlfriends-say-sht-girlfriends-buy/

        Reply
    2. travelbugette

      I told my boyfriend I wanted one thing this year. This.

      https://www.thehunt.com/finds/xy6r8Y-it%27s-tea-time-mug—urban-outfitters

      Reply
      1. FitsofWit

        That is magnificent.

        Reply
  2. Jessie Reyna

    I’m so laid back about Valentine’s Day too, and my boyfriend does these magical fantastical things that I can’t live up to it. I would love a six pack of girly booze!

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      We really need to spread the message.

      Reply
  3. irtfyblog

    Thanks! Now I have a craving for Dunkin Dounts and Mike’s hard lemonade. 😉 lol

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Oh, don’t deny yourself. Sounds like a pretty bitchin meal to me.

      Reply
      1. irtfyblog

        😉 thanks for the encouragement! I’m on my way…can I get you anything while I’m there?

        Reply
  4. JunkChuck

    You’re just not going to stop until yours is my favorite blog, are you? I invariably smile more after I’ve read it than I had before.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Why thank you. I’ll try to be less smile inducing if your cheeks are starting to hurt.

      Reply
  5. hbusse

    *beau, not boo. I don’t care if you’re in Victorian England or Contemporary Chicago, I will correct your word usage!
    (Also, I agree that half of this holiday is “Oh, LOOK! I’m not ALONE this year!” Selfies are a good present. I’ve never really had the urge to do something special on Valentine’s Day, just low-key hanging out and chocolate and giant cookies.

    Reply
    1. hbusse

      Have I mentioned that I quite enjoy giant cookies:)

      Reply
    2. FitsofWit

      Ha! Sorry but I use the word “boo” all the time. To my mister, friends, pets… does that bother you, boo?

      Reply
  6. R. Todd

    Prince Eric?? Don’t let Ariel see this…

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Oh, I want her to see.

      Reply
      1. R. Todd

        Not like she can yell at you or anything.. although I hear she has a pretty wicked finslap.

        Reply
  7. naptimethoughts

    I’m married. What’s valentines day again?

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Oh right. All you need to know is that there’s heart-shaped brownie batter doughnuts involved.

      Reply
      1. naptimethoughts

        I’ll tell him to pick some up.

        Reply
  8. brickhousechick

    So true! This will be the first VD without my hubby! I am going to miss him lots except that I get to be in sunny Puerto Rico sipping Sangrias. It’s a trade off. 🙂

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      VD hehe.
      Have fun!

      Reply
  9. bensbitterblog

    I think we should all not overlook the more important holiday this week, which you helped me remember. National Pizza Day anyone?

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Yes and while I did celebrate with pizza for lunch AND dinner yesterday, your precious holiday is now over. Deal with it.

      Reply
      1. bensbitterblog

        I’m going to go cry about it now.

        Reply
        1. FitsofWit

          Why did I just imagine you crying pepperoni tears?

          Reply
          1. bensbitterblog

            Because they were heartfelt pepperoni tears. And because I got a cut and marinara sauce bled out.

          2. FitsofWit

            This is getting weird.

          3. bensbitterblog

            Time to bail and get a nice Valentine’s gift for my wife.

  10. Very Bangled

    Flowers are most necessary for the woman who works in the office. Nothing better than the delivery guy tromping through all the cubicles sporting a giant bouquet for you.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      This is true. I have known people to send flowers to themselves just for the opportunity of jealous coworkers.

      Reply
      1. naptimethoughts

        Me too. Don’t be that guy. Don’t ever, ever, be that guy.

        Reply
  11. H.E. ELLIS

    That’s one lucky fella. 🙂

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      I’m the lucky one. He tolerates my drivel and for that I am thankful.

      Reply
  12. Cazey Williams

    I love the insight that you just need to pose so your significant other can post about your relationship on social media – and maybe give them a little trinket, so they Instagram that for a #ThrowbackThursday. (Sorry for late comment; just found your blog.)

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Thanks for finding my blog!
      You’re right, #throwbackthursday IS a great excuse for the not-so-humble brag.

      Reply
  13. Pingback: Period Panties: A Modern Day Love Story | Fits of Wit

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