Spring is around the corner! How do I know? Well, I could talk about how the snow in my area has been melting. The temperature is FINALLY above 30 degrees! Or it could be that I spotted a Robin the other day. Everyone knows that seeing a Robin is the first sign of spring, right? WRONG. There is another theory I stand by that proves spring is fast approaching.
I believe that winter’s ass is kicked out by the flip flop of the white man. Scientists have not proven my theory to be accurate yet, but it’s only a matter of time. In fact, I think we should leave groundhogs the fuck alone. Let them sleep. On February 2nd pull a white man out of a bar. If he’s wearing boots or sneakers with his jeans, we have several weeks of winter left to go. If he’s wearing flip flops, spring is just around the corner.
Last year around this time I discussed another epidemic of springtime here. I’m an observer. It’s what I do. But how do I prove my theory? By Scientific Observation of course…
The Scientific Process
A scientific process or scientific method requires observations of nature and formulating and testing the hypothesis. It consists of following four steps.
- Observe something and ask questions about a natural phenomenon (scientific observation)
- Make your hypothesis
- Make predictions about logical consequences of the hypothesis
- Test your predictions by controlled experiment, a natural experiment, an observational study or a field experiment
- Create your conclusion on the basis of data or information gathered in your experiment.
I NEED YOUR HELP, READERS! In order to make my theory valid we need to experiment. We need research. We need data. I cannot be the only person to go out and observe white men wearing jeans and flip flops. This week count the number of white men wearing flip flops with jeans. Record your number and email your data to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Tell me where you live, the average temperature this week, and how many white men wearing jeans with flip flops you’ve spotted. Do it for spring. Do it for science. But most of all, do it because it will entertain me.
*** Gifs found at giphy.com