Fits of Wit

I Graduated From Blog U

This past weekend I attended the Blog U conference in Baltimore, MD. I overcame fears, met inspiring people, and learned a mind blowing amount of information to help me become a better blogger and overall writer. Listed below are just a few of the things I learned… mostly silly, but seriously epic.

 

1. I don’t know jack shit about Pinterest

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Pinterest is like the female g-spot. We assume it’s straight forward and easy to figure out but then we dive in and realize there’s weird twists and turns. A click here, a double click there… It takes so long to crack the code, the freaking out begins… I NEED TO HAVE RICH PINS, TOO?! I HAVE TO USE KEYWORDS AND PIN TO ALL MY BOARDS EVERY DAY?!!! We give up and our Pinterest boards are left looking unsatisfied and broken. Luckily, I won’t have this problem since I took the Mastering Pinterest class.

 

2. Photo booths are always fun, especially after wine.wpid-img_20150609_104840.jpg

Okay, I already knew this. I just wanted to show off my bitchin’ hater blockers. (Pictured: The Home Tome and Live, Laugh, and Learn)

 

3. I brought WAY too many business cards.

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Blog U has it’s own online group where members stay in touch and post links to their blogs and social media accounts. Because of this, I really didn’t have much use for my cards other than to force them upon statues. She looks disgusted, and rightfully so.

 

4. I have no willpower when it comes to dessert.

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There was food. SO MUCH FOOD. “What’s that? Dessert after lunch? Don’t mind if I do…” “Oh hey, dinner time! Wouldn’t want to NOT follow five pounds of pasta with a marshmallow brownie and peanut butter cupcake!” And finally…”A BUCKET FULL OF HERSHEY KISSES AT OPEN MIC?! Well smack my cunt and call me Petunia! This chocolate will give me the bravery I need to read my piece!”

 

5. I shall henceforth be known as ‘burrito girl.’

burrito love

Speaking of open mic, I spent an entire day deciding what I was going to read. I was SO nervous. Would this group of strangers accept my weird habit of turning everyday things into sexual innuendos? Finally, I decided to go with my gut. I read one of my more popular posts, My Love Affair With Chipotle. Turns out, people loved it. The next two days I was referred to as the ‘burrito’ or ‘sour cream girl.’ I learned that I was stupid to be afraid to let my freak flag fly. This was by far, the highlight of my weekend.

 

6. Dressing like a middle schooler channels insecurities.

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Nickelodeon sponsored an awkward middle school themed dance. When I myself was in middle school I was a nerdy Spice Girls fan. Seriously, I would have licked the bottoms of their boots. I styled my hair like Baby Spice and wore plastic jewelry. I even donned a Hello Kitty lip gloss ring. Seeing myself in that way again made me reflect on my preteen dances. I’d ask my friend to ask a boy to dance with me (that’s what you did when you were too afraid to approach a boy yourself). My friend would then return and deliver the bad news. Grown up Jamie is SO GLAD middle school Jamie got her happy ending.

 

7. Sometimes the stars align.

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Dressing like a middle-school-spice-girls-fan-girl worked out because Aussa Lorens dressed as Ginger Spice. Although I didn’t lick her boots, I did watch her bust some moves on the crowded dance floor. When the tune If You Wanna Be My Lover came on, the universe exploded.

 

8. If there is a chalkboard in the room, you must always take advantage.wpid-img_20150606_223359.jpg

When I needed to step away from the dance floor due to drowning in a lake of sweat, I’d walk over to the chalkboard and um, decorate. According to this blackboard message, I’m basically Web MD.

 

9. Always end the night on a high note.

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Upon arriving back at the dorms after the dance, I discovered an unusual silence through the hall. I took advantage of the space and had my roommate perform a photo shoot. Life is too short not to have a woman scream out “You’re a tiger!!!” I felt oddly sex-a-licious.

 

10. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. wpid-img_20150609_103415.jpg

I went to Blog U barely knowing anyone and I was scared. Scared that I’d say something offensive. Scared that I’d be lonely. Scared that I wouldn’t feel worthy of being around such amazing people. But I left empowered. I left inspired. I left knowing I had made one of the best decisions of my life. This weekend was exactly what I needed to move forward with improving as a writer and working towards future goals.

NOTE: Although this post was mostly ridiculous I feel the need to stress all the top-notch sessions offered. I learned SEO, mastering Pinterest to get more traffic to my site, pros and cons of going viral, pitching techniques for websites and magazines, making money as a writer, and how to build a book. I would absolutely recommend Blog U to any blogger whether you’re a novice or seasoned pro.

See you next year at #BlogU16

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

20 Comments

  1. Mike G.

    Regarding the happy ending you noted above (#6 I believe): did you have to pay extra for that? Thought so.

    Well, Petunia, glad you had a rocking time.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      I’ve never actually met anyone named Petunia so that’s why I went with that name. Have YOU ever met a Petunia? I’m convinced it’s only reserved for story book characters.

      Reply
      1. Mike G.

        At least not in the last century and a half. With THE exception of Porky Pig’s main squeeze.

        Reply
      2. Mike G.

        And Harry Potter’s aunt. But maybe she was who you were referring to n

        Reply
        1. FitsofWit

          Ah yes, Aunt Petunia. Still not a REAL person tho.

          Reply
  2. Quirky Chrissy

    “Well smack my cunt and call me Petunia!”

    LOLOLOLOL

    There are SO many evens I can’t right now.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Feel free to steal it.
      Because I’m stealing you “There are so many evens I can’t right now.” 😉

      Reply
  3. the home tome

    Hi-five Burrito Girl! You KNOW that statue is now stalking your site. Good stuff. Had a blast with you.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      You’re probably right. That nun statue is logged into a computer at the Notre Dame campus. Attempting to laugh but alas, her lungs are full of stone.

      Reply
  4. Jessie Reyna

    I’m so jealous! Looked like a blast! And dessert everyday just makes it even better.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Jessie, you must come next year. I only assumed local people would go but NO. Bloggers traveled from California and Washington. THAT’s how special it is. Save up $ now so we may unite and conquer the world.

      Reply
      1. Jessie Reyna

        Absolutely! I may need to make this happen next year 🙂 And it seems pretty affordable!

        Reply
        1. FitsofWit

          It really is. I’ve looked into several conferences and this one was by far the best deal. I also spoke with a few other bloggers there who have been to the big ones (BlogHer and The Blogcademy) and they told me this was the best one they’ve been to. Laid back, fun, and SO MUCH LEARNING.

          Reply
  5. terib19

    I walked in to Open Mic while you were in the middle of reading your piece about Chipotle. I peed. I had to go back to my room and change, because you made me pee.

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      LOL Sorry? 🙂

      Reply
  6. Uncustomary Art

    It was really great to meet and hang out with you at BlogU, Jamie. You are so awesome, and I’m glad we got to actually talk! Really looking forward to hanging out with you in real life since you’re local, and I’m just so glad that you had a good time despite your worries before heading over! <3

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      GREAT to meet you! I loved it and will most definitely be back next year.

      Reply
  7. Linda Roy

    I didn’t go to the open mic, (I know, what was I thinking?) so I missed your Chipotle reading, but I heard about it. It’s the stuff of BlogU legend now. I’m off to read it because there were adjectives flying around like hysterical, hilarious and genius!!

    Reply
    1. FitsofWit

      Haha BlogU legend. Love it.

      Reply
  8. Pingback: 8 Reasons You Should Get Your Ass To Blog U 2016

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