Fits of Wit

Tag Archive: Halloween

The First AND LAST Time I Attended A Haunted House

Years ago in a mediocre little town, I spent my pre-adult time between school and marching band. I wasn’t particularly athletic but god damnit, I could twirl a flagpole. For a few years the color guard was everything to me. Practice was a safe place to go weekdays after 3:30…
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Halloween… it gets weirder and weirder.

The other day I received the following voicemail from my pharmacy… “Hello. Your whore medicine is ready. Please pick-up at your convenience.” OK, I may be exaggerating. It was an automated message I receive monthly telling me to pick up my birth control or as my Mother-in-law calls it, grandbaby-dream-crushers. Her words, not…
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